how crazy it is to be anything at all

i believe i am in love with a boy, he's my age but slightly older by a couple of months. he's considered to be on the "ugly" side, which i don't believe. he's very beautiful in my eyes. he's very funny, and makes a lot of jokes. sometimes i think i could listen to him all day long. the thing is he is in love with another girl. and i am okay with that. i just want him to be happy. another thing, i would never be able to be the girlfriend he's always wanted as i am transgender. to be honest, it's killing me a little knowing he would never be mine. but, i would rather not lose him as a friend. i need him more than the air i breathe. and if it means keeping him as my bestfriend while he rants about this girl, i am okay with that. i always say love, don't i? do i like him as much i love him? probably not. aha, i'm tired. goodnight.