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Current Mood: tired

tired

tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tiredtired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tiredtired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tiredtired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tiredvvtired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tiredtired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tiredvvtired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tiredtired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tiredtired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired. i am so fucking tired.

Current Mood: gloomy
Current Music: the cut that always bleeds; conan gray

Entry tags:

once more to see you

how crazy it is to be anything at all

i believe i am in love with a boy, he's my age but slightly older by a couple of months. he's considered to be on the "ugly" side, which i don't believe. he's very beautiful in my eyes. he's very funny, and makes a lot of jokes. sometimes i think i could listen to him all day long. the thing is he is in love with another girl. and i am okay with that. i just want him to be happy. another thing, i would never be able to be the girlfriend he's always wanted as i am transgender. to be honest, it's killing me a little knowing he would never be mine. but, i would rather not lose him as a friend. i need him more than the air i breathe. and if it means keeping him as my bestfriend while he rants about this girl, i am okay with that. i always say love, don't i? do i like him as much i love him? probably not. aha, i'm tired. goodnight.

Current Mood: thoughtful

insanity

hi, i think it's been like directly 10-11 days since my last post? i guess. ive been doing a lot of self reflection and honestly, i hate myself. but i think thats alright, i will learn how to love myself one day right? today is just not that day i guess.

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: remember my name

Entry tags:

rambling

me as a person

hello. this is my first entry into this website.

i get sad at night. i don't know how else to start to this post. at night, i think of all the people who did me wrong, and all the people that i did wrong. i am not a good person, but i think that's okay. there is no good people in the world, only people who want to be better. i think that's admirable. it's nice, really. but i am not those people and they are not me. i'm not trying to be better. i am simply me. isn't that enough? many people i know would disagree, as i am not the person they thought i would be. i don't care though. the most important thing to me is to stay true to myself, which i find special. humans are interesting, as we were all the same yet so different. do i sound crazy? perhaps i do. i don't mind that though, being a little crazy is what makes me interesting. maybe i am not real. that's okay.